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Monday, July 2, 2007

Felix Play-by-Play

After perusing through boys soccer rosters for the better part of two hours, I've decided to treat myself - and my loyal fan base of three - to a play-by-play of tonight's Mariners-Royals game.

You heard that right: Mariners-Royals. I'll give you three reason's for the running commentary on tonight's game. First of all, these are two teams playing WAY above their heads lately. The Mariners have the best record in baseball since May 22 (25-10), and the Royals just completed an month in which they had more wins than losses (14-12). Second, this is the first game of the John McLaren era in Seattle, with Mike Hargrove resigning as manager yesterday and McLaren taking the reigns. Finally, Felix Hernandez is pitching, and good or bad, there's always something to say about him.

I'm happy for the Royals, especially tonight's starter, former Mariner, and first-time all-star Gil Meche. I really am. But what does it say about your franchise when you go 14-12 in a month and: a) you have the right to be ecstatic about it, and b) you are still the worst team in the American League. Still, you have to start somewhere, and with the artist formerly known as Gil Meche on the mound, I'm not taking these Royals lightly.

1st Inning

This is going to be hard considering I am writing and watching on the same computer, but I live for a challenge.

Nice panoramic shot of Kauffman Stadium in KC, which judging by the vast layering of trees that extend miles beyond the walls of the stadium, appears to be in the middle of nowhere. I don't think there is a tree within 20 miles of Yankee Stadium. We then get a shot of a Mariner fan in attendence, who looks like my old landlord. At least he's spending my rent money on Mariners tickets.

Gil Meche appears to regained his old form, surrendering a walk and three straight hits after retiring Ichiro to take a 2-0 lead. The Royals team then returns to form, with third baseman Alex Gordon cathcing a Kenji Johjima line drive and throwing the ball into right field to blow an easy double play. Gil-ga-Meche gets out of it though, getting Adrian Beltre to line softly to centerfielder David DeJesus (Rutgers holla).

Two funny things from the top of the first: 1) Watching Jose Vidro run; 2) the site of McLaren, who has a sling around his right arm. I hope that's not the arm he gives signs with. If the Mariners don't bunt for the next few weeks, we'll know why.

Felix steps to the mound for the first inning, which means there's about an 80% chance he's throwing a fastball on any given pitch. The result of fastball-happy Felix has been a high first inning ERA and the Royals add to that with a double and a single in the first two batters. Both hits were on fastballs, and German's single came after Felix fell behind 3-0. Like he usually does, Hernandez sees the fastball isn't fooling anyone and starts throwing the dirty hook and closes the inning with a strikeout and a double-play ball.

After an inning of play, I stand firm in my position: I'd rather have non-all-star Felix Hernandez than All-Star Gil Meche.

2nd Inning

Scratch my Ich!. After two quick outs, Ichiro knocks a three-hopper through the right side. Where are all those Yankee fans who were telling me Hideki Matsui was better than Ichiro a few years back? That's a rhetorical question. They are now begging for the Yankees to sign Ichiro this offseason. Vidro grounds out to end the top of the second, and I'm back in Felix mode. Let's hope Felix is too.

In a matchup of 2007 busts, Felix gets Alex Gordon to ground out to first. Better days ahead for those two.

Felix breaks off another nasty hook to John Buck to end the inning.

3rd Inning

David DeJesus makes a play at the warning track on a Raul Ibanez flyout to center. When he first came up, DeJesus looked like he took a few too many trips to the grease trucks during his college days. But little by little, he looks like he's working off those fat sandwiches. Not an easy thing to do.

After a quiet top of the third, Felix looks to be settled in. That's not hard when you see you'll be facing Joey Gathright, who can't lay down a decent drag bunt. There's not a big market for speed guys who can't get on in any way, shape, or form.

David DeJesus gives me a figurative middle finger for the grease truck comment by launching a game-tying homer to right. Hanging curveball. What can I say? Rutgers breeds assassins at the plate (myself included).

4th Inning

Seriously now, it's time to get to work on Meche. Vidro did a great job in his first inning at-bat, seeing 10 pitches and drawing a walk. Meche hasn't really changed anything, but the Mariners are just swinging like eight-year olds swing at a pinata.

The M's show some novelty patience by trying to take pitches early in the count, but swing at bad pitches ahead in the count to negate their patient approach. This team is only a game out of the wild card right now and is playing the best baseball in the league right now, but I still have no faith that this offense can carry the starting pitching to the playoffs. The Tigers had a similar lineup last year, but their starting pitching was awesome, whereas the Mariners' starting pitching is not.

Mark Teahen lines a double to start the Royals fourth. Johjima's targets behind the plate are waaaay too high. His glove was at Teahen's belt, Felix hit it, and Teahen did the same. Felix's fastball is untouchable when it's low and looks like BP when it's up.

Huge strikeout of Gordon with one out and Teahen on third. That's why you want the strikeout pitchers folks.

Announcers Dave Sims and Mike Blowers agree that Felix has not pitched poorly since his first two lights-out starts of the season, but that the expectations are just too high. Last time I checked, ERA's of 5.00 are considered bad.

The third base umpire calls Teahen out on a seemingly bad call to end the inning. Johjima threw behind him at third to pick him off, and I didn't think he had a problem getting back to the bag. Whatever, I'll take it.

5th Inning

Ichiro my hero! One-out single up the middle for I-Suzi. That was my Jim Rome impression.

After a four-pitch walk to Vidro, Meche gets Ibanez to pop out to the catcher, Buck. Guillen ground out and Meche is off the hook. This theme of Ichiro going to waste will surely have him in pinstripes in 2008. Met pinstripes that is.

Adrian Beltre needs to win a gold glove one of these years. Derek Jeter has three of them, and you're telling me we can't get an actual good defensive player one? He makes two charging barehanded plays, and misses on a third try. Each play was tougher than the one before it, and if he made the last one, I might have changed the name of this blog to "Adrian Almighty.'' Of course, I'd imagine God would produce a little more at the plate for $69 million over five years.

6th Inning

It's nice having a great defense and one of the game's best bullpens when your offense is this bad. Luckily, KC is just as bad and they've got a bullpen to match their offense. I like where this is going. Adrian Almighty grounds out to short after a nice at bat to end the inning. I said I like where this is going, not where this is. Eight-game winning streaks breed patience.

Felix manages to retire DeJesus on a comebacker, despite the stream of pee running down his leg when he saw DeJesus step up. He then goes to a 3-2 count on German and walks him, his first free pass of the game, but gets a groundball for the 4-6-3 DP to end the inning. Ground balls and strikeouts. That's what Felix Hernandez does!

7th Inning

Fox Sports Northwest has managed to tell us everything about the M's new manager except what we all want to know: Why is there a sling on his right arm?!? I don't care where he's from or which Venezuelan Summer League team he managed in 1994. Why can't he give the steal sign?!?

Gil-ga-Meche is out after a leadoff walk by Yunieski Betancourt, and it appears the M's did in fact do a decent job of working the count on Meche. Although, Gil Meche usually does most of the work for you. Instead, the M's will face Jimmy Gobble, who wants no part of Ichiro as he walks him on four pitches. Another pitching change, and it is the notorious Zack Greinke for KC. If you don't know about Zack Greinke, please click on the link below. I promise, wou won't be disappointed.

http://www.thedashow.com/mp3/da-greinke.mp3


Unfortunately for the M's, Greinke is a pretty good pitcher and gets Vidro and Ibanez to get out of the mini-jam.

Felix looks strong, and at this rate might as well go nine innings. Two groundouts to go with a K and the M's are right back to work against Brad Pitt Fan Club President Zack Greinke.

8th Inning

Greinke shows off his curve by freezing Jose Guillen on a 3-2. Greinke pitching to Guillen is like Hanibal Lecter mentally hunting down Buffalo Bill. It takes a crazy person to know what a crazy person is thinking. Seriously though, Greinke is so much better than he his career performance would indicate. He has been on the verge of breaking out on a couple differennt occasions and hit a wall just before he does. He looks good tonight, much better than Gil Meche anyway. They should leave him in until the game is over. Then they should make him their number one starter. But they won't, because they're the Royals. There's a reason their fans are dancing in the streets after a winning month.

Felix gets through the inning in five pitches. It's nice that he gets stronger as the game goes, but can we see this in the first inning? He's at 92 pitches through eight innings, and should be throwing in the ninth.

9th Inning

Out of Town Update: Damien Miller had seven RBI for the Brewers tonight, raising his season-total to 17. That is neither a misprint nor a joke.

Of course, Greinke is lifted for Joakim Soria, because this is the Royals we're dealing with. Then again, this is the Mariner lineup Soria is dealing with, so he has no trouble mowing them down in the ninth. Soria is a decent reliever, so it's not a bad move, but I'd like to have a guy like Greinke on the mound for as long as he'll hold up. And on the proper medication.

John McLaren makes his first questionable decision as manager, lifting Felix for my favorite Irish baseball player, Eric O'Flaherty. DeJesus is leading off and wore out Felix in his first three at bats, so it's not the worst move in the world. Still, Felix was getting stronger and easily had another inning left.

Yep, German makes McLaren pay for going to the lefty by lining a double to left-center. The M's have used their bullpen well during the eight-game winning streak, and that's all going down the drain today. Teahen lines a single to right, and if German was a little more decisive in his base-running, this game is over. Why not go to your best pitcher in the toughest spot? J.J. Putz is the best reliever in baseball right now, and he's not even warming up. George Sherrill is one of the best lefthanded relievers in the game. Guess what? Not warming up. Mike Hargrove, we miss you already.

Sean Green comes in, not to be confused with the Mets right-fielder. Emil Brown pinch-hits for cleanup hitter Ross Gload. I'd prefer not to lose to any team that pinch hits for its cleanup hitter. Green gets a HUGE strikeout of Brown for the second out, and the prayers for George Sherrill are answered. This inning is as good as over (feverishly knocking on wood). Sherrill throws a 2-2 strike that is called a ball. The home plate umpire must have been honey-hunting in the KC crowd, because there is no way he could have looked at that pitch and called it a ball. All is forgiven, because Sherrill gets Gordon swinging on the next pitch. No harm no foul. Hope you found a dime behind that first base dugout blue.

10th Inning

Soria is still in the game and makes Ichiro look silly on a strikeout, dropping his average to a measley .367. I can see why KC went to Soria now. He's got a power arsenal. It looks like I'm going to be here for a while if I'm going to watch the M's win number nine in a row, especially if they let Soria go one more, which is unlikely. Just keeping my fingers crossed for one more inning of Sherrill...

Good God, Sherrill is leaving the mound in favor of Brandon Morrow. How do you use your second-best reliever to pitch to only one batter? Morrow was the M's first round pick in 2006 and made it to the bigs quick, which shows you what the club thinks of him. Unfortunately, he hasn't made them look like geniuses, showing signs of a good pitcher, but no signs that he has any idea where the ball is going.

The M's went to Morrow because the Royals went to pinch-hitter Billy Butler. My friend once said that calling Billy Butler a bad defensive player was an insult to bad defensive players. In other words, he's a career DH. Still, at age 21, he's one of the best prospects in the game, which tells you about his bat.

Bulter grounds out to short, but Buck hits one to the wall for a double, and I'm officially worried for the first time all night. Luckily, Tony Pena is up, and he looks like he weighs about 90 pounds. Pena gets all of one, rolling a soft grounder to short for the second out. Pinch-runner Fernando Cotez goes to third, and with Joey Gathright back up, we're on suicide squeeze watch. Gathright tries to hit, and predictably strikes out because he can't hit. The Royals' punchless bottom of the order makes a bad bullpen move look a little less stupid.

11th Inning

Octavio Dotel is in to pitch for the Royals, and judging by his first two pitches, the M's hitters should be in "stand there and watch mode." Jose Guillen doesn't agree, and swings at ball four on a 3-1 count and swings through a 3-2 fastball for the K. Ben Broussard doesn't agree either, but he is rewarded with a dinky single. Johjima follows with a room service double play, which Pena boots for the Royals' third error. If you're a 90-pound Major League shortstop, you better be able to field.

Nobody on the M's has seen a 3-1 pitch they didn't love. Beltre swings at ball four on a 3-1 count, which means there is less than a 0% chance he'll lay off ball four now. Yep, swinging strike three on a ball six inches off the plate. Jose Lopez follows with a strikeout to end the inning. I'm either going to be here all night, or I'm going home in a bad mood.

Top of the KC order to face Morrow. DeJesus doubles to right for his third hit, while Jose Guillen looks like he's playing pin the tail on the donkey in right field. That's not the donkey Jose, that's Richie Sexson.

Morrow isn't close, and walks German. Putz threw 12 pitches yesterday. Where is he? I know it's not a save situation, but why take the loss with your biggest tool locked in the shed? Perfect bunt by Teahen and pinch-hitter/cleanup-hitter Emil Brown is back. This time he's effective, launching a game-winning sac fly that Ichiro has some fun with by making a circus catch.

Winning streak over. The first night of the John McLaren Era was terrifying. That's the last time I'm live-blogging a Mariners game until I'm confident they are in the playoffs, which probably won't be until I see them playing in October. If they keep playing like this, my fingers will be getting more rest that J.J. Putz.

Gotta go out on a high note.

Mariners 45-34
Yankees 38-41

I'll enjoy that while it lasts.

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